Nahil Reith, Hebron Resident

Muhammad has told me that before the intifada he would occasionally go to Gaza to visit his family and his mother. He would stay a day or two and return to Hebron.

I was happily married to Muhammad and in 2000, I gave birth to a daughter, Lin, who is now two and half years old. Muhammad stopped visiting in Gaza. After we got married he tried to get a permit from the District Coordinating Office (DCO) a few times, but all of his requests were rejected. Last summer, in 2003, Muhammad’s mother grew very ill. She is 80 years old, and suffers from diabetes and blood pressure problems. Muhammad’s request for a permit was rejected, and so he wanted to go via Jordan, cross into Egypt, and from there enter Gaza. When he tried to cross into Jordan via the [Allenby] bridge, the Israelis sent him back. Muhammad continued to submit requests. He finally succeeded in getting a three day permit to go through the Erez crossing. I personally saw the permit. Muhammad left for Gaza in September 2003. He said goodbye, and promised he would return after he saw his mother. A week after he left, he called and said he has to extend the length of his stay because his mother’s condition deteriorated and because of a family problem.

When Muhammad wanted to return, the Israelis did not let him cross in the Erez border crossing. He told me over the phone that he tried two or three times to get permits in Gaza to return to the West Bank but his requests were denied. Muhammad asked me to request a permit to travel to Gaza. I submitted a number of requests through the Palestinian DCO to get a permit, but all of them were denied. I submitted the last request before the Eid al-Fitr holiday, because I was told by the Palestinian DCO that the Israelis give permits for the holiday. But my request was denied this time as well. My husband tried to help me and called “Saint Yves,” an organization in Bethlehem that helps obtain permits in cases of humanitarian need, but they were unsuccessful as well. In the meantime, I gave birth to a son, Hamed, who is now seven months old. Muhammad has never seen Hamed. I offered to send him a picture, but he refused, saying it would make him even sadder.

In August 2004, my husband went to Egypt hoping I would travel there as well, via Jordan, and we could then enter Gaza together. I considered the idea, and I tried to convince my father and brothers to agree to the plan. My father said the trip would be expensive and he did not have enough money to give me. Muhammad waited for me an entire month in Egypt but even before we reached a decision, he called to say he had had a heart attack. He was treated in Nasser Hospital and returned to Gaza for further treatment. He sent his medical records so I could give them to the Israelis. I attached the documents to the permit request, but in spite of this my request was rejected.

I gave up hoping that one of us would receive a permit. I left the rented house in Abu Sneina that I lived in while married and sold all the furniture Muhammad had bought when we got married. I used half of the money to pay the debt that had accumulated: rent and utility bills. The remaining money I spent on my children Lin and Hamed. Since my husband left I have not been calm and I feel like my life is unstable. I feel like a burden to my father and brothers and that I worry them too much. My father is a poor man. He owns a small grocery store and the profits hardly cover his own expenses and those of my eight brothers, the majority of whom are in school. He is only willing to pay for milk and diapers for my children; this comes out to be more than 300 NIS per month. The house we live in is small. I sleep with my unmarried sisters in their room and I feel like I am a disturbance to them and cause the house to be crowded. My husband has not sent me any money. Since he left, he has not worked and he has been continuously on the move. He stays one night at his first wife’s, one night at his mother’s, and occasionally in the mosque. He is exhausted and very sick. My father is troubled by the fact that my husband doesn’t send me money. He tried to sue Muhammad to force him to pay alimony, but I got involved and explained Muhammad’s health and financial status.

My father is angry at me and Muhammad. Most of the time he complains, and I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I sit alone and cry. Sometimes I wish I could just die and sometimes I wish I had never met Muhammad. In the beginning, Lin, my daughter, got used to calling her grandfather “father.” A few months ago, I explained to her that this is her grandfather and that her father left but he will return. The girl sees her uncles playing with their children and asked, “Where is my father?” She walks around the house asking about her father, who she doesn’t know. Sometimes she walks to her grandfather’s store and asks, “Where is my father?” She comes back to me in tears saying she could not find him. I try to keep her occupied and calm her and tell her he will come back tomorrow. I don’t know when we will be together again. Muhammad promises me that he wants me and he wants to see his two children before something bad happens to him, God forbid.

Nahil Abd al-Muhsan Abd a-Salam Reith, 29 years old, is the mother of two and a resident of Jabel Johar in Hebron. Her testimony was taken by Musa Abu Hashhash at her home on 8 December, 2004.